Friday, July 15, 2011

The "Incident" ... Kristin: 0 Mr. / Creepy: 1

We all know them, that one guy that no matter how nice & genuine he may in fact be, he gives you the damn creeps!  Well, as luck would have it I had to be hospitalized over the weekend.  A certain Mr Creepy works there & he is someone my Sister & I avoid like the plague!  And believe it or not, my health way NOT #1 priority for my Dear Sister!  

The list of priority was as follows
1.  AVOID Mr. Creepy *Insert Shuddering HERE*
2.  Don't let Vicki DIE

Normally I would have a problem with this list.  But not the case this time.  She was RIGHT - and with good reason.  
I had to make a trip to the Ladies Room to piss in a cup (ha Ladies Room, followed directly by the word piss! I digress.) we headed for the bathroom & made it safely by hiding behind Chris, Kristin's wonderful Hubby.  On the way back to my wonderful accommodations there in the ER, he spotted us!  We acted like it never happened, then I got a dreaded text - It said & I quote ..... "I C U"  .. Followed by our in unison screams of pure terror "OMG!  Nooooooo!!  HELP - Chris, Do SOMETHING"  .. Our cries went unheard.  Then it happened, he came to visit.  We were friendly to him, he was very nice, concerned about me, he even got me some water ( I was shocked he didn't slip me a Roofie).  He stands there talking & leering at us for like an hour or so give or take a few minutes, and leaves.  All is well in our world, now we only have to try not to let me kick the bucket! Chris left & Kristin went to the bathroom, I was frightened to be alone, however, I shouldn't have been scared - SHE should have been - if I've told her once, I've told her a million times - SAFETY IN NUMBERS!!!  Anyway - she went to the bathroom right, she was doing bathroom business, as she was about to finish up said 'business' the door flies OPEN & who do you think is standing there ????  Ding Ding!  You guessed it! Mr Creepy!!!  He promptly closed the door, and didn't run away like a normal person, he stood outside & waited his turn.  When Kristin emerged (after she searched the ceiling for an alternate escape route), Mr Creepy said to her "At least it was someone you know." .. I don't know about you all, but Id rather some stranger walk in on me, rather than someone I have to SEE again!  ................  She comes to my room, she looks strange, she just starts talking, telling me the very story I am telling you & looking horrified!  Being  the amazing Sister I am, I first called bullshit on her story.  And once she convinced me it did indeed happen, I laughed my ass off, not WITH her mind you - AT HER!  ....  So - I guess the lesson of the day is : LOCK THE DAMN DOOR & Mr Creepy will not see you doing you're business !!!!  

I love you KiKi !

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

WeeOnes with Weapons !! *Starring Jackson & Cooper*

"Jackson has WHAAAAAAT??"
Right off I do not know what to do with the newly gained info of Jackson being in possession of a knife- I know I must proceed with extreme caution!  I automatically start a frisk search, I give him no notice this is about to go down, he could use the advance notice to plan a story or hide evidence.  I go straight for the pockets - and yes, there is indeed a pocket knife in there (score 1 for Momma) .. "Jackson, WHY do you have Nick's knife?" .. "Cooper said we should borrow them." .. "Borrow THEM?  Is there another knife, where is the damn knife, hand it over" .. Nick now decides its a good time to advise me: "Umm - I'm missing a black one too" .. Jackson is all "Cooper has IT" .. Great - the plot thickens!  I now have to call Baby Sista & advise her that her spawn is armed & potentially dangerous, this should be fun! .. I call .. Cooper answers the phone - great - straight to the source, gotta love cutting out the middle man!  Cooper: "Hellllllo Aunt Wikki" .. Aunt Wikii (ME) "Hey Baby - Did you 'borrow' (you little thief) one if Nick's pocket knives?" Cooper: "yeeeeah."  Wikki: "Do you still have it with you?"  Cooper: "yeeeeah." ......... Wikki: "Let me speak to your Mother" --- Dear Sista: "Sup Witchfest?"  .. Witchfest (also ME - whats with the names??): "Cooper has a KNIFE in his possession!!"  (For those of you who do not know Cooper, you have no idea how tragically this could end!) .. Dear Sista: "Vicki, I'll call you back ..... COOOOOOPER!!!!!!!!" .. Line goes dead .. I have no idea what is popping off, but I fear the worst ........